This time i admit i brought it on myself. It didn't randomly sneek up on me this time. It is something that i am starting to want to experience just to have that feeling.
You see it in films, books, newspaper stories and even see it in people if your lucky enough. However for me i am sincerly wanting it, just to reach out a grab it and to experience it would be brilliant.
Once again the word 'however' comes into the mix. Cause you need something else, something that i just don't have. I am told i am this and i am that, all compliments from people around me in my life. All who i love so much because it what makes the best part of the day, just to see them.
I try and see myself in those compliments. Sometimes i can never make the connection how i am that person people say i am. I can sometimes see it, what they see in me. Then other times i just think it is not possible. That just might be myself doubting i can be that person ,when in actual fact i am and i just don't notice it.
There all nice compliments i receive and it makes me think if i am that person how come i haven't found 'him'.
I beleive i still haven't experienced the world yet, slowly i am but there is still more to come, maybe even 'him' (if i am lucky enough). However i will admit i would love to have that feeling even if it is only brief, like having the one perfect kiss, in that perfect moment.
To some people what i am typing may seem wishful thinking but sometimes wishful thinking is what makes you hope that someday you have that ultimate feeling that i beleive is elusive.
Just what is it like to have it? Is it that elusive?
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